How to Write an Apology Letter
If you're like me, making an apology is one of the hardest things to do in life. First of all, it's hard to admit you were wrong, but it's just as hard to put into words your thoughts and feelings on the hurtful things you've said and done. Often, pride or embarrassment gets in the way of a good apology.
Knowing how to write an apology letter lets you make your sincere regrets known, while letting you ask for forgiveness and reconciliation. Once you hand over your apology letter, you probably want to make a short and sincere apology face-to-face, to drive home the point. But a well-written and sincere letter of apology helps to open the dialogue, and does the lion's share of apologizing for you.
Address the Letter to the Recipient of the Apology
When you open the letter, use their proper, most commonly-used name. Don't use a nickname or a pet name, because this can look insincere and disrespectful. The only exception is when a nickname is the name you use for this person, always.
Mention the Incident
Whatever incident that happened which you're apologizing for, mention that event immediately. Since the two of you were both there, you don't have to go into detail. This could make them angry again or remind them of the hurtful words or actions you took.
On the other hand, you want this person to know exactly why you are apologizing. Be clear and concise about the incident in question.
Make Your Apology
Next, make a sincere apology. Use words like "sorry" and "apologize" instead of "I regret", because regret is a term lawyer's use to indicate certain feelings of sorrow about an event, without admitting wrongdoing.
Be specific about what you feel bad about. Make a mention of exactly what you did that you're apologizing for. This clears up any misunderstandings between the two. Also, if they don't accept your apology, then you know they might be angry about something else entirely different.
This puts the ball in their court and should lead to better communication.
Give Your Mental Process - Be Clear in Your Apology
Without giving excuses or justifications, explain the thoughts and emotions that went into your actions and words. Once again, this can explain to them why you did what you did. If you were unequivocally wrong, make a straightforward apology.
Once again, read the apology letter and make certain you don't sound like you're justifying whatever you did. This can open up the same wounds or make it sound like you blame the other person for the incident.
Tell Them What They Mean to You
Next, write to them how much their friendship and/or love means to you. Let them know you don't want to jeopardize that relationship.
Tell Your Friend You Want to Atone
Tell your friend you'll do what you need to do to make things better in your relationship. If there is a specific act you can perform to mend the relationship, it's appropriate to offer to make amends.
End your letter by addressing them by their everyday name, and not a pet name, then end the letter.
Finish by adding
"Sincerely,
(Your Name)"
Writing an Apology Letter
When writing an apology letter there are a few things you should consider. An apology note shouldn't be too long, though it needs to be long enough to be clear and sincere. Therefore, apology letters shouldn't be too short, either. Once you give your apology letter to your friend or lover, when it comes up in conversation, make a short, sincere reiteration that you're sorry, then leave it at that.
If your friend is unwilling to accept your apology at this point, there's not a whole lot more you can do. Most of the time, a true friend is going to accept a sincere apology.